Tuesday, February 10, 2009

I'm just saying...what is a mother?

* google images

What's your take on the controversial Octuplets?

I'm having a difficult time understanding the mom's thought process.
I have more questions than answers.

She saved and used a disability settlement to pay for the infertility treatments, and plans to use her current student loans to temporarily pay for her children's care. When that runs out...she really doesn't have a plan. She has faith that it will all work out with the help of kind volunteers. The medical expenses alone would be astronomical...not to mention the cost of raising these children to adulthood.

What is a mother? Surely, not just a vessel for birthing.

Why not adoption? If her love for children was so strong, why not adopt? (I would suspect that the adoption process may be more selective than the infertility process, and she would have been denied)

Is it even possible to properly care for that many children?
Is this responsibility?

Is it a form of child abuse?

Is it okay to bring a child into the world on faith alone? I know many pregnancies are not planned, and many people are not prepared...but this was a planned insemination.

Is it okay to assume that kind people will come forward to help you?
Is it okay to expect and depend on this help, and make life altering decisions involving children based on this assumption?

My opinion:

I feel it was incredibly selfish and irresponsible.

The mom doesn't have a job. She receives public assistance. (she said she didn't, but the truth has been revealed) She already has six other children...two with special needs. She depends on her mom to help watch the children she already had before the new births.

I understand the infertility process is an extremely emotional one...but should society end up paying for someones desires? I know many people have stories about infertility that aren't in this same category...I understand that.

As a society, shouldn't we have laws in place regarding infertility clinics that willingly bring children into these situations? Is it okay to let anyone with the money pay for this treatment?

What now?

There are eight new babies who need love and care, and six older siblings who have been impacted too.

All questions that don't all have easy answers.


vivian said...

I have nothing nice to say about the whole ordeal. working as a social worker in a social services agency.. Im thinking we'll be seeing more of her down the road.. wait till those kids are all teenagers. She is probably hoping that they will get into commercials and plans on making some money on them. I wonder how many will end up in foster care?

cindy said...

You are so right...no easy answers to this one. My first, flippant reaction, is this. She reminds me of one of those people that you see on the news every once is awhile...they are pulling 35 malnourished, filthy, cats or dogs or birds out of their nasty, dirty home. And while granted the person meant well at heart, wanted to help, wanted to love...some how it all got out of hand an ended up wrongly. Perhaps her intentions were good, but we all know what the road to He** is paved with, as they say. Sometimes I think gals are so focused on a baby, that they forget, like kittens and puppies, (sorry to use an animal reference again) they get big and become adults. I think people often forget, they are creating adults. They are only babies for a short time. I wish her well, but i think she was wrong.

Find a way

Find a way
a path will take you there...or make your own